August 28, 2009

Audacious Alliterations

Well it's been a while since my last adventurous post and I've been all over New Eden while enjoying some pretty exciting encounters. Before I start though, I should all warn you that I'm a big fan of a certain rhetorical device that some may find corny or simplistic... but I love usin it! That device is the alliteration. Already in this post I've used two whole alliterations (one of them subconsciously I'll admit)! Imagine how many I could put in a newspaper column or even a book! For those of you who don't know the beautiful device that is alliteration, let me explain it for you. Simply put, an alliteration is the use of two or more words starting with the same letter. I know that's a pretty basic definition and I know there's a lot more to it but I've been through high school English and I wish never to return. So that's it! Here's a most remarkable example of an alliteration:

Floyd Foggytreks fears fifteen frollicking Frenchmen.

Brilliant, I know. What I'm getting at is this: if you can't stand alliterations en masse, well you can just take a number!

Moving on from my semi-coherent musings on the importance of rhetorical device, I'll bring everyone up to date on my adventures in Eve.

With the loss of Jenny I fresh in my mind, I went about purchasing another Incursus frigate at a reasonable price. After picking it up in a high sec system I fit it with leftover modules I'd found while ratting in some asteroid belts and then proceeded to the dangerous system of Heydieles. Mid transit I decided to name my ship the ingenious Jenny II; not one to stick to patterns.

Unfortunately as I arrived in system I had to leave my controls to help lug some things around. I made a safe spot and left my controls for a total of about five minutes. After those few struggling minutes I hopped back into my seat to see that Jenny II had disappeared from the screen. Instead of sitting behind the controls of my Gallente frigate, I was floating in my capsule. "How the heck did that happen?" I asked myself. I stopped my ship in a safe spot... surely I couldn't have been attacked and blown out of the sky by some rampaging rapscallion!

Upon further investigation, I found that the rapscallions had indeed found me and that they had indeed shot me to high hell. Jenny II mysteriously, but quickly fell to the hands of a pirate by the name of skuggan... What kind of a name is skuggan anyway?! It's not even capitalized properly!! Floyd Foggytreks was angry - very angry.

Not one to give up and not one to make the same mistakes twice, I scoured the markets for yet another Incursus. Only a few minutes later, Jenny III tore through space in her most bad-ass fitting yet. I was out for blood. I was out for vengeance. Most importantly, I was out of toilet paper......

August 21, 2009

Stubby Arms and Scanners

What exactly am I looking for in this so-called New Eden? It seems that everyone wants a piece of some isk pie, but I'm not so sure that I'm cut out for the long grind of mission running or the logistical complexity that is mining/manufacturing. So how am I going to find some isk pie for myself?! I was fresh out of the Gallente Center for Advanced Studies corporation with about as much knowledge of the Eve world as a squirrel has about flying (not including flying squirrels of course).

Rather than wandering around with the ultimate noob corporation as my support I decided to branch out and find something a little less conspicuously noobish. Unfortunately, I didn't know a single person in all of New Eden so I was at a loss for what to do or where to look. Fed up with my lack of instantaneous connectivity to the greatest players in Eve (who I expected to escort me past the simple task of becoming wealthy) I chose to spend what little isk I had on a fast ship with some ability to tackle the other pilots out there. I'd had enough of looking around for a corp. It was time to blow some stuff up!

The Incursus is one of the more exciting frigates in regards to looks and agility and while it isn't supposed to be the best early ship for warfare/privateering (or pirating ;) ) it can hold its own against most of the other frigates and cruisers out there. I hadn't actually had a chance to prove any of that yet but I was willing to try so I fitted my Incursus with what little armaments I had available to me and flew into the nearest lowsec system I could find.

My god is the directional scanner confusing at first! I felt like a T-Rex pointing those stubby little arms around trying to grab a delicious furry creature but my big stupid head kept knocking everything over and scaring away the nomnoms. Besides that disaster, I could feel the adrenaline starting to pump as I actively sought my first live prey. Flying from asteroid belt to planet, I started to place bookmarks in between warps as I'd heard about the value of safe spots by now.

After fitting my tiny T-Rex arms through the hoops of the directional scanner for some time I finally felt confident enough in my ability to actually warp to a potential target. I calibrated my scanner towards where I thought my victim would be waiting and then slammed my finger down on the warp drive ignition. After a few short seconds of travel I popped out of the warp tube and found myself completely alone next to a large planet. My prey had run away before I even saw it.... Rather than waste time flying back to a safe spot I kept looking around for that tasty target (a frigate) at the planet I'd warped to. Within about 30 seconds I quickly discovered why you should always warp to a safe spot when using your scanner.

My first lost ship! Jenny 1 was now little more than a few chunks of metal and some space dust! I was shocked. Who knew that a ship could explode so quickly? Fortunately, I managed to escape with my pod intact, but I was still sufficiently scarred by this most horrendous loss.

Limping back to my hanger in a busted up capsule, I vowed to never stand still outside of a safespot for more than 10 seconds. Noob lesson #1 learned: never think you're safe when at a remote planet in lowsec. I'd learned the ways of lowsec the hard way on my first journey, but the thrill of chasing down that evasive frigate still haunted me and I knew that I'd be back soon.

August 17, 2009

Breaking Down Barriers

Hey everyone! After reading a solid chunk of the many eve-blogs in existence out there on the interbutts, I decided to give my character a chance to chronicle his humble beginnings in the world of New Eden. I've been inspired by the hilarious adventures of INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE, as well as the somewhat more mischievous pirating stories of spectre3353. Both of these authors' wit and control of the English language stun me and I can only hope to achieve a fraction of the success they've had in their blogs. I make no claims of being an accomplished writer, I'm merely an enthused gamer with a sense of adventure coursing through my veins.

A little about myself: I'm a huge fan of the online variety of pc gaming. I'd consider myself an aficionado of several MMOs including Planetside, Asheron's Call, Warhammer Online and the dreaded World of Warcraft. Although I currently only play Eve, I have to say that Planetside was and is my favorite video game... ever... due to its complexity, colossal scale, and dedication to teamwork. With that in mind, I'm searching the vast boundaries of New Eden for a new home. I'll be documenting my adventure as a total noob to the game (which I am) and hopefully we'll all learn a little from my experiences! I wish all you other capsuleers luck in the future and I'll see you in space!

-Floyd Foggytreks